I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
