I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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