In the future we'll all be gay
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
