I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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