If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
