i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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