last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
