whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
