I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
