I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize