Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
