You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
