I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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