I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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