physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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