it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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