Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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