Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
