so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
