Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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