Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
