Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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