i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
