Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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