OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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