Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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