we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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