She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
