How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
