I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
