i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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