If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
