you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
