I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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