i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
