he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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