Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
