I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
