look no pants
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
