I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
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