we have officially lost it.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
