week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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