you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
