it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize