you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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