And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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