Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
