just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
