I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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