I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
not ubering you a puppy
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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