it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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