Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
