I'm drive I can fine osifer
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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