I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
