Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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