My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
