if i can run in heels then i can drive
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
