Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
